Some thoughts I wrote on Instagram today @brenny_vanilla :
Aug 28: Life ain’t all 1’s n 2’s ?, pullups ?? and danger swigging soy cappucinos ☕️
Many of us are fighting an internal battle with ourselves every day.
I’m one of those people.
It won’t always be this way for me though. Because I’m doing THE WORK.
By ‘work’ I don’t mean the 1’s n 2’s and the pullups.
Yes these are an integral part of my journey and they have made my life better and I am a huge advocate for them BUT they are physical practices. No amount of 1’s n 2’s or pullups will ever resolve deep rooted mental/ emotional/ internal problems.
In my life I would have thrown literally millions of 1’s and 2’s and I’ve done a shiiit load of pullups. And I will continue to throw 1’s n 2’s and do pullups for the rest of my life, as long as my body allows it!
But, my emotional struggles remain.
There is no substitute for real, professional mental/ emotional therapy.
One example (and I could go on for days here): the experience of my dad’s suicide and the letter he left me that told me he killed himself so that I personally was not exposed to his pain imprinted the belief that ‘I am not enough’ on my subconscious. And there’s plenty more beliefs where that came from. This belief from the past has manifested itself in a myriad of ways in my present life.
No amount of physical training would have ever lead me to understand or change this belief. In fact, I’d probably continue doing infinite amounts because I’d never become ENOUGH.
Through my ongoing therapy though – I am.
I’ve been seeing a psychotherapist and seeking out people and groups that help me access my internal world proper CONSISTENTLY for a year now.
I am here to spread a message. That message is still: SEEK HELP NOW. Straight up. If you’re facing recurring internal/ emotional/ mental issues – go find a suitable therapist and put in the work to get to the bottom of it. If you have the guts to commit to yourself and the uncomfortable feelings THE WORK brings up, you can change your story and become whoever the fuck you want to be.
No one’s perfect. We’re all a bit cooked :) We all suffer and we all have pain. The quality of our character is determined by our relationship to our pain though.
I personally choose not to suffer in silence. I’ve seen what happens to people who do. I suffer out in the open. I seek help. I create dialogue. This is real strength and because of this I am an example for others.
It takes much bigger balls to face yourself and your emotions than it does to suppress and escape.
Create Dialogue – Inspire Change.